This blog chronicles the lives of the Caffee Clan: Brian, Kelly, Josh, Jason, Lauren and Katelyn as we navigate life as a large, loud family that lives on the verge of complete chaos! I'm Kelly, a 40 year old, a work-at-home-mom that dreams of someday being rich and famous. Uh huh, right! In reality, I love photography, healthy eating and cooking, my family, music and dancing!! I have a fetish for gross medical stuff, like unusual diseases or strange growths, and sometimes I wish I was a midwife. As you read, you might notice that I have an slight obsession with cleaning and germ-avoidance, but do not fret, I am aware and I am working on it. And I love making lists! I have lots of opinions about lots of things and this is what is represented here! I'm not always right (wait, I'm NOT??) but I always have something to say!!!

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Lordy, lordy, look who's gonna be 40!

Blah. In 6 days I will turn the big 40. Yup, still bugging me and it's bugging me that it's bugging me! Why is it bugging me? It's just a number, right? It doesn't symbolize anything or mean some weird milestone or anything, right? 40 is the new 20! Uh huh. I didn't feel quite so creaky in my 20's, I'll tell you that!

I honestly can't really give a reason why I'm so unsettled about this birthday. I usually LOVE my birthday - just ask anyone that knows me - I can be the biggest birthday brat! I love celebrating and having a day that is all "mine", doing whatever I want and having people over and eating ice cream cake. It's making me feel weird that this year I'm in a bit of a funk about it all. Don't get me wrong, I'm still celebrating, just nothing over the top or crazy. Brian asked me what I wanted to do and I actually said, "Nothing, really." I think he almost fainted! And then he started planning a little something because he knows me! I can't even think of a gift to tell him to get - so odd for me! There is usually a book or crafty item that I want or a little trip that I have planned or something. This year, I just don't know! Sigh....such problems I have, no?

Maybe I feel like I should have more accomplished by now, but I look back and I think, no way! I have done so much and I've had some really amazing experiences and I'm very content. Doesn't mean I'm not striving for more, of course, but I'm satisfied. Maybe that is what it is - I've never felt truly satisfied in life until now? I don't think it's that. I can't quite understand. It's like whatever it is is right on the tip of my tongue but I can't reach it. I need to let this go, though and just be settled. It's not like I can make it stop! Haha!

I want to know - have any of you had this same thing happen or am I just seriously over thinking? I really want to hear what you guys think, maybe I can get some perspective on my feelings and all. In the meantime, I have back to school stuff to keep me occupied - the kiddos go back on August 1st!! It's nuts how fast the time passes! But that's a topic for another day....  :)

6 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Haha! Child, you say? I politely disagree, sir! :)

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    2. Just wait, you'll be saying the same thing to 40-year-olds in 11 years, lol!

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  2. Happy Birthday! I am your newest GFC follower.

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  3. Hi Elena!! Do you have a blog, too?

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