Big chicken.

How was your 4th? Mine was super fun! We hung out at the pool and had a really yummy meal. There were no fireworks because of the fires but that was fine, we grabbed a bunch of movies and just chilled. It was good!

Except for one teeny, tiny little moment at the pool. For one insane second, I had the idea that I'm not really deathly afraid of heights and decided to climb up the ladder and jump off the high dive which is probably 15 feet above the water. I was all puffed up and asking my kids what they'd give me if I did it. At one point B said that he thought that maybe I should go off the low board first - he knows me so well - but I would have none of that! I made my way over and started to climb. At some point, reality should have hit me, but nope, I just kept climbing. A line started to form below me, and I probably should have taken that moment to get down, but no way!! I was going to overcome my fear! I reached the top and confidently strode to the middle of the really bouncy board and froze. Not like, oh! This is scary froze, but full on my legs won't work froze. I looked down at B, he smiled up at me and said, "you can do this!" and I freaked and turned around. I was getting off that thing ASAP! But everyone below me was staring up at me and the next person in line was on the ladder and apparently my sense of pride is bigger than my fear of heights. So, yes, I turned back around and walked back to the middle and inched my way to the end of the railing and stood there. A hush fell over the pool and people were staring. I wish this was the point in the story where I was exaggerating, but I'm not. Not one bit. But again, I could not move, and the masses below started to shout words of encouragement. Did this spur me on? Not. A. Chance. I looked down and put my finger to my lips and shushed them. Then I looked at B, and he had this look of "for the love, woman, just jump already" but still, he was so kind and just grinned his lovely grin and said "there is only one way down". That encouraged me to get the h*ll off that dumb board and so I began my 50 mile walk to the end. I quite literally took tiny little baby steps while holding my breath and praying that I wouldn't pass out or fall off, but looking back, one of those may have been a better option. The hush over the crowd was deafening and I could hear my heartbeat - this was the moment of truth. The lifeguard came over the loud speaker and gave me a count down - 3, 2, 1.... and I.....

JUMPED!! The crowd went wild!!! I swam to my family and acted like I had planned the whole scene in advanced. B helped me out of the pool because my legs where like wet noodles and gave me a big kiss. People from all over the pool area came to congratulate me for being brave. Several children brought me flowers and someone gave me a sash and a crown. I was the epitome of bravery at the pool that day. Ok, NOW I'm exaggerating. All I have to say is that now you all have a good understanding of what my family goes through having me for a wife and mother. At least life with me is a little unpredictable and they'll have memories that last a lifetime. That's what I tell myself, anyway!