This is getting very real.....

So I have said before that we are getting ready to PCS to Guam for three years and that I am excited/nervous/unsure about what to expect. I know what I have seen on countless web sites and what to expect from the Army stand point; what I'm talking about is the community. Will people accept us because we are Army and not Navy or Air Force. Will the kids in the schools befriend mine and be kind and gracious? Will the teachers, clubs and sports teams be supported by parents? That's what I get anxious about mostly - the unknown. The things you won't know until you have lived in an area for awhile.

I *know* that there will inevitably be someone that will remind me that I don't have it bad at all. Three years on a tropical island - what's the problem? And someone may remind me that at least we are not facing a deployment. I know, I get it, things could be much worse! I am certainly not demeaning those things; I respect the families that go through them immensely. They are brave and strong in ways that I have not been asked to be. That said, this is my reality at the moment and I of course, have worries about it.

One of the hardest things for me to do is say goodbye. I hate this part! It starts with the "little" goodbyes. The teachers and staff at school where you have spent countless hours watching and helping them guide your child. They sting, but they don't necessarily hurt. Then there is the separation period that I always go through; untangling myself from the webs I've created. The network of friends and people I trust and rely on. I think military people may know what I am talking about. In the months before a PCS, we begin to make a wall between us so when the time comes to actually go, it's not so hard. The hardest for me is friends that I don't see as often (I know that's weird, you'd think it be harder to say goodbye to the people I see everyday), but the ones I don't see as often are my go-to people. The ones I call when I can't handle something or need advice or a shoulder to cry on. My "family from other parents" people. :) And of course my family family....

This is what is coming for me on Friday. The beginning of the goodbyes. I get to spend 5 awesome days in Maryland with my dear friend Tracy and her family!! I have known her since we were both in the Army and stationed in Korea together. We have gone through marriage, divorce, pregnancy and child birth (a week apart) and many, many other life experiences with each other. She is awesome enough to give the flights that she gets as rewards for her work! And I am happy as a clam to be kid-less for five days!! This'll be a hard visit though, because although we will shop and talk and eat and stay up late and laugh until we cry, it will likely be my last visit for a long time. And we probably won't talk about that and that's ok because I'd rather spend five ridiculous, fun days with one of my besties instead of focusing on the realities of leaving and then spending the time all weepy and emotional.

And I get that there are phones and email and letters and Skype and all of that, but it IS different when you are across the world. I'm not saying we won't be back to the States in the next three years, I'm just facing the reality that it won't be often. And I will MISS so many things that will happen! And people will miss things that are happening with us. We are leaving with kids that are 12, 10, 6 and 2 and will return with kids that are 15, 13, 9 and 5. So many changes!

But, we will get to have so many new experiences, too. We can learn to surf and scuba dive. We can travel to Hawaii, Japan, Korea (yay) and Australia! This is just a moment in my life, this period. And it will be as great as I let it be or as awful as I allow it to be, right? :)

In the meantime, I will say my goodbyes and hug my friends and family until they are blue, kiss my nieces and nephews until they have my lips imprinted on their faces and cherish every little laugh and giggle and memory-making moment! Let the countdown begin.....